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Home » Personal » me

Building Self Confidence – Clothes

Published: October 11, 2013 | Updated: November 12, 2019 | By Ashlee

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I’ve mentioned before that the last year was a little rough for me.  I have been pregnant or nursing for almost 12 year straight, and having that portion of my life over has been rough.  I kind of simply quit, quit taking care of myself, because what was the point? I’m at that stage now where I spend a lot of my day in the car, dropping my kids of, picking them up, taking them to activities, waiting in the car.  And when I’m not in the car I’m at home, laundry, dinner, dishes, cleaning (blogging).

I let my love of clothes, fashion and make up go and wore my pj’s almost every day.  I just didn’t bothering to get ready for the day, it kind of felt like “what’s the point”.  Seriously because there wasn’t anything to bother getting ready FOR!  BUT when I got called a MAN 3 times in one month I realized something had to change (YES you read that right, a MAN, once I got called a DAD). My self confidence was at an all time low!

building-self-confidence

There IS someone to get dressed up for, MYSELF!  Sitting around in my PJ wasn’t helping me feel better, in fact it was making it worse.  I decided that even if I didn’t feel like it simply the act of getting dressed and making myself feel special by doing my hair and make up would help me!  AND it has, it has helped a lot.  A few weeks ago the amazing Megan from Brassy Apple came over and helped me “shop your closet”.

She came to my house and went through my closet to help me the clothes I already own in a different way!  A new way to wear it, refashion it, upcycle it or GET RID OF IT!  After 5 kids my body isn’t what it was, and while I could care less about my weight (don’t even own a scale), BUT I did need some help dressing my current body.

building-self-confidence-clothes

We went through my whole closet and here are some of the tips I learned.  BE BRAVE, try something new.  I am very self conscious of my large breasts.  I want to wear clothes that show my womanly body shape, but not overly show off my chest.  So I tend to stay away from trends that bring any attention to that area, like scarfs and belts.  BUT with some encouragement from Megan I totally tried it!  She suggested looser pants with this more fitted top!

building-self-confidence-clothes-color

Next for me was COLOR, as in don’t be afraid to mix colors (or wear color, I own mostly black with very little color)!  I used to go too matchy matchy.  On the left is adding colorful accessories to an outfit with Megan’s help and on the right how I would have worn it without her help.  The added pop of color in the necklace and shoes and it takes it from “fine” to a more complete, less boring blah, look!

building-self-confidence-clothes-accessories

This was was the biggest for me LAYERS and ACCESSORIES.  On the right, BORING, shirt and pants, fine, I’m not in PJ’s and I’m wearing a bra (improvement), but adding the scarf, sweater, headband (and cute new boots) takes it from “clothes” to an outfit!  And I love it!  All things I already had but had never put together!

So I made a goal not to wear PJ’s during the day for a month!  Even the day’s I “just” take my kids to school and come right back home all day I still get dressed, do my hair and put on make up.  AND it has totally helped!  Taking the time to time to take care of myself has been wonderful! My self confidence is back up, and I feel better in every other area as well!!

learning to dress up my wardrobe by adding color, accessories and more,  it's easy to take an outfit from boring to amazing with some layers and jewelry

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About Ashlee

With the right tips and tricks, I believe YOU can make, bake, or create anything. This is what I love to do - make some awesome, teach you how, and give you that boost of culinary confidence you need to rock your own kitchen! Read more...

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  1. Heather

    October 11, 2013 at 6:11 am

    Love it all! Especially that first look!!

    Reply
    • Ashlee

      October 21, 2013 at 12:08 pm

      thanks! It was probably the one I was most nervous about, but I really like it now!

  2. marissa | Rae Gun Ramblings

    October 11, 2013 at 9:52 am

    Oh I love the looks. I was totally admiring you rocking that great scarf the other night. I so so get the whole not getting dressed thing, it’s like I know it but then when I go back to “getting ready” it’s not like it took so long and the way it makes me feel is priceless. Yay for getting out of the funk

    Reply
    • Ashlee

      October 21, 2013 at 12:10 pm

      thanks! I didn’t have an issue with the whole pj’s all day after the first 4, but this last one, mixed with my busy life and it has been so easy to be lazy and hard to get out of the funk.

  3. Jill @ BeingSpiffy

    October 11, 2013 at 10:13 am

    You’re gorgeous girl. For reals.

    Reply
    • Ashlee

      October 21, 2013 at 12:10 pm

      Awww thanks!

  4. Becky

    October 11, 2013 at 11:31 am

    You are amazing and beautiful and I love these new looks!! Amazing!

    Reply
    • Ashlee

      October 21, 2013 at 12:11 pm

      Thanks so much! It’s been so nice to feel a bit better about myself lately.

  5. Aimee @The Stylish Nest

    October 11, 2013 at 11:56 am

    You look great! I need to pull myself out of my clothing rut too. This post has inspired me. 🙂

    Reply
    • Ashlee

      October 21, 2013 at 12:12 pm

      I’m so glad! This clothing rut has been hard, It’s nice to feel refreshed and renewed lately

  6. meg/Brassy Apple

    October 11, 2013 at 2:59 pm

    Yeah!!!! your post looks great but better yet your pictures do! I can see a changed women 😉 Can’t wait to read more about this series! Your combinations are wonderful! Getting dressed for the day you want to have or the person you want to be slowly helps to change our own perspective on ourselves. YOu are definitely on the road to change! 🙂

    Reply
    • Ashlee

      October 21, 2013 at 12:12 pm

      Thank you so much, AGAIN! I have had a few pj days still, but for the most party making myself get ready and dressed has been so soothing.

  7. Alexis @ We Like to Learn as We Go

    October 11, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    I love these outfits! Isn’t it amazing what a little color and accessories can do?

    Reply
    • Ashlee

      October 21, 2013 at 12:13 pm

      TOTALLY! Now I just need to add color and accessories to my house too! Apparently I’m minimal in everything I do (except cakes), this has actually inspired me to do more decorating as well, bring my environment out of it’s rut!

  8. Shannon

    October 13, 2013 at 8:40 am

    I totally get it, I don’t wear make-up, and their are days that I don’t get dressed, I have made a point of having more than just tshirts in my closet, so I can wear nice shirts just because. I’d say my waist length hair makes me feel feminine etc that my husband has longer hair than me:D Taking the time to DO my hair makes me feel special and less blah.

    Shannon

    Reply
    • Ashlee

      October 21, 2013 at 1:00 pm

      my husbands hair is longer than mine too, but that’s because mine is so short! And I agree, less blah is what I’m going for these days. it’s amazing how something as simple as a shower and getting dressed can make you feel

  9. mrs. hands

    October 13, 2013 at 4:07 pm

    You have an amazing bodyshape – don’t be afraid to show what you got! I wish I would look like this and had so much boobs left after just ONE child…

    Reply
    • Ashlee

      October 21, 2013 at 6:03 pm

      awww thanks! I wish I had LESS breasts after my 5 kids! My sisters started out small and got smaller, I started out large and got larger! GAH! seems backwards!

  10. Raejean

    October 17, 2013 at 7:36 am

    First off Ashlee, you are a beautiful person. 🙂 I miss getting together this year!

    I think all mom’s go through what you’re talking about. We get so caught up in taking care of everyone else and one day realize somewhere along the way we stopped taking care of ourselves. When we start dressing in a way that makes us feel good, it shows how much we love who we are.

    Reply
    • Ashlee

      October 21, 2013 at 6:20 pm

      exactly, getting caught up with taking care of everyone else is so easy to do. And I missed seeing you this year too! So sad that EVO got cancelled, are you going to any other conferences?

    • Raejean

      October 25, 2013 at 7:24 am

      The only conference I’m planning on attending is a writing conference next year. Life is a little “topsy turvy” for me right now. I’m working full time and still trying to adjust to doing everything else I’m used to doing. My blog is definitely suffering. But overall life is good!

    • Ashlee

      November 15, 2013 at 8:03 pm

      I totally get that, my blog suffers all the time as it gives way to real life! Sometimes it’s hot sometimes it’s forgotten! maybe next year!

  11. April

    October 25, 2013 at 11:46 am

    The last one is my favorite because it’s something I could totally pull off! 🙂 But Love all the looks and agree with the others. I’ve always thought you are so beautiful and brave, so I love reading this post! 🙂

    Reply
    • Ashlee

      November 15, 2013 at 8:12 pm

      Thank you so much April! I’m still experimenting with looks but I think I’m on the right path to feeling better about myself!

  12. Lara

    October 25, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    Ashlee, You look amazing! I loved reading this post. I have some of the EXACT same issues. My boobs and I have had a rocky relationship. And I avoid scarfs and things. I am overweight right now so I don’t feel like trying very hard. Plus I spend most days in bed…so jammies are appropriate. I just LOVE your goal of getting dressed every day. Maybe that’s a goal I should have on the horizon. You really do look amazing. And THIN! I love the long striped sweater. LOVE! (and I usually avoid stripes too because my boobs stretch them out) Anyway, whatever demons you are facing…All my love to getting over them! You can do it!

    Reply
    • Ashlee

      November 15, 2013 at 10:06 pm

      One day at a time somedays. I have been doing better, getting dressed every day makes such a difference emotionally, but I still have bad days/weeks (today was the third PJ day this week). I admire you so much, to keep going with both emotional and physical pain is incredible. Seriously, you are amazing and so strong. I hope your pain doesn’t last much longer.

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